Authenticity and Transparency.....

I write this tiny little blog for many reasons, 1st it started as a sounding board for my divorce. Mostly for therapeutic reasons, the best part is to go back and see how far we have all moved forward. It's an AMAZING process, to say the least!

I've shared a lot of my personal experiences. Some of them I've worked through and simply just moved forward and some I will be working on for the rest of my life, but I'm happy to do that in fact I feel grateful that I am who I am. Willing to learn from my mistakes and hopefully become stronger and able to share that experience to give another little~lost~heart hope.

Last night I was called on something by a friend....And given the cold~hard~truth on how I allow fear to control so much of what I do, how I act, what I want to appear to be to others and saddest of all allowing fear to define my self~worth. A feeling, defining me and me allowing that to happen? Yes, the girl with the happiest of intentions and optimism to fill an ocean, the girl who appears to never allow things or doubt to enter her thought process.

Regardless, it really made me stop and think I decided to sit with it......

I realized then that this is the same idea that applies in everyday life, as we engage with other people and consciously or unconsciously, look to them to give us what we're not willing to give ourselves.

If we're feeling down on ourselves or like we are lacking, we look to other people to validate us. If we're feeling drained, we may look to other people to give us permission to take a break or have a mini-meltdown or sometimes not so mini. Ha Ha

Sometimes if they don't give us what we need, we can end up feeling frustrated & fearful and possibly direct that at them. Ironically, even when people say what we think we want to hear, it tends to fall flat if we don't truly believe they are right.

What makes it all the more complicated is that we don't often realize we're doing this.
It is FAR more comfortable to search outside than it is to look within.

But if we want to fully feel the warmth of light, we need to first access our own. That starts with asking ourselves: What do I really need and how can I give that to myself?

Goodbye fear, I will NOT miss you!