This little post is about my Bailey girl, it is impossible for me to share the magnitude of this journey without tears rolling down my face and so much thankfulness in my heart.
Her story. Her inspiration. Her journey. Her life.
From her perspective her journey is much different as it is hers, we share the same heartache as our hearts are connected.
This past week Bailey received an email from one of her Professors, it looked like this.
I'm so proud of her, not only for her perfect grade, highest score in the class or the opportunity to do an internship that she would love but for the path traveled to get her to this point.
This is a girl who has been immobilized by anxiety, anxiety so severe that she spent months in bed fearing even the tiniest little tasks like going to school, the grocery store or even family parties. Her heart was so sad, so heavy with guilt-fear-feeling hopeless.
Not only was Bailey struggling with anxiety, she was dealing with emotional issues of her divorcing parents, "first love" drama and being a teenager (that in itself is enough).
Bailey spent a GOOD 4-5 years trying to cope with these crazy cards she had been dealt, she experienced weight loss, weight gain, her beautiful hair began falling out, she lost her job, she was in pain constantly - joint pain, headaches, body pain, her heart hurt, she had mono, she slept and slept and slept . . . hoping almost everyday to "wake up better and happy".
In the meantime, she fell behind in school, her friends questioned her friendship, she began to wonder if she even had a purpose. This broke my heart.
Watching your child hurt and suffer is by far the worst pain a parent can experience. There had been times when I would cry so much I would be hopeful that tears would run out, I prayed and prayed and prayed for her peace. I begged to take her pain away and take it on as my own, I took vacation days and just simply laid next to her in bed and watched her sleep. I took her to work with me and kept her close by my side, sometimes fearing if I left her home alone I might not come home to her being there.
This was my daughter my little sassy-spit fire of a girl the girl who would not take "no" for an answer, the girl who was so driven-independent-strong willed and optimistic in every way.
My little love.
Hurting and feeling so broken.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, things happen "for" us and we are all exactly where we need to be at all times. These beliefs were "challenged" even for me.
My cute girl rallied, she graduated from high school (with lots of help and prayers), she got a job, enrolled in college (with so much fear in her heart), she moved into a dorm, she went to school and she came home (a lot) and we pushed though. She had her heart crushed by a boy who never deserved her goodness. It felt like 100 steps backward for her, just as things were on the up she was knocked back down. Once again, we cried, she slept, we walked and talked and she took time for her and she found her strength (again). It was around this time that she found her truest self.
I have my girl back and she is stronger than ever, she is brave, she is an incredible inspiration of hope and endurance. She is happy, truly happy with an outlook on life that makes me so proud to be her mom. She is by far one of the most incredible human beings I know. She is beautiful inside and out.
The phrase has never been more true, "If you know her, you love her.".
Thank you Bailey Kae Whiting for being mine, for being you and for sharing your kind heart and fighting spirit with us.
The sky is the limit for you my love!
xoxo
1 comment:
WoW... I am always amazed and humbled when i read or hear the story behind the smile... we don't know the personal struggles or triumphs unless shared. Beautiful Mother...Beautiful Daughter...Inside & Out!!! Inspired <3 Thank You :)
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